Curiosity
by Moe-chama
Summary: Skool has finally decided to have a normal Valentine's Day this year, with the candy, hearts and puppy love. Zim, however, doesn't know anything about this holiday. Unfortunately, Dib does. ZADR. Mild language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** For all of you who don't know, I personally love the show, Invader Zim. It's been my favorite ever since I was a little kid. Since I had recently got back into it, I wrote this. It was originally put on my deviantArt and thanks to good reviews, I put it here.

This is rated T for mild language and ZADR (Zim and Dib Romance). Enjoy! :3

* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

"GIR! Where is my wig?"

Zim stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room. He was going to be late for Skool if this charade kept going. Once, he entered the living room, he stopped and quirked a non-existing eyebrow. There was GIR, sitting on the couch with his dog disguise next to him, watching television. He was wearing the wig on his head while watching the television intently. GIR turned his head toward Zim, looking at him for a moment before furiously waving. "HIIIIIII MASTERRR!"

"What are you watching?"

"The Scary Monkey Show!"

Zim turned toward the television. Sure enough, there was that picture of the incredibly creepy monkey staring right back at him. Zim narrowed his eyes. "That monkey..." he hissed. Growling, he turned back to GIR. "GIR, we have discussed this; you do NOT steal the disguise of the mighty Zim! Without my disguise, the mission is ruined!" He reached out a hand to snatch the hair piece.

GIR shrieked and held his arms over his head, jumping to the side of the couch farthest from the alien. Zim sighed and walked over to the other side of the couch with ease.

"GIR, give me back the wig."

"I DUN' WANNA!"

"GIR, give me back the wig."

"Okay!" GIR smiled, taking the black wig off his head and handing it to Zim. Zim sighed again and snatched it out of the robot's hands, carefully placing it on his head. His PAK sent out a mechanical arm, holding his contact case. Opening it, Zim took out his contacts and gently placed them in each of his eyes, returning the arm back in the PAK. Without a single word, he walked toward the television and switched it off, despite GIR's shrieks of protest. "I'm off to Skool. I expect this place to be this way when I come back," he mumbled, opening the door and peering over his shoulder. GIR hopped off the couch, going into Duty Mode. His eyes as well as his other blue features shined red as he saluted Zim. "Yes, sir!" Zim blinked and narrowed his eyes. "Don't break anything," he said, and with that, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

"Bye-bye, Master! Bye-bye! Bye-bye!" GIR switched out of Duty Mode and waved to Zim from the window until he was out of sight. GIR sat down on the couch and remained silent. His legs twitched ever so often, but other than that, he was motionless.

Finally, he jumped up. "I'M GOING TO GO MAKE WAFFLES NOW!" He bolted into the kitchen, ripping off the door to the refrigerator, tossing it to the side, and grabbing the bag of his favorite waffle batter. He looked at it, tears forming in his eyes. "I love you..." he whispered, hugging the bag tightly.

* * *

Zim walked down the street, well aware that something was already broken in his base. He didn't care what the Almighty Tallest thought, there was definitely something wrong with his side-kick. His thoughts flooded back to when he first met GIR and what Almighty Tallest-Purple had told him.

_"It's not stupid, it's _advanced_!"_

Advanced his ass.

Still, the Almighty Tallest had given him this proud mission to destroy mankind. Maybe the malfunctioning SIR unit was supposed to test Zim's patience and how well he stayed committed to his mission? Zim didn't have an answer.

Snapping back to reality, Zim came to a fork in the road. He looked down both ways. The one on the right would take him right to Skool, while the one on the left would take him past his mortal enemy, Dib's, house. Either one led him to Skool although the one on the left was longer. Zim pulled a watch out of his PAK.

8:27 AM.

Skool started at 9:00.

Grinning evilly, Zim picked up a large rock, sent out his mechanical limbs and started walking down Dib's road with them. He had plenty of time to have some fun. Pulling a lazer out of his PAK, he started burning holes into the rock as though it had craters and rounded the edges, laughing maniacally to himself while doing so. Just when he deemed the now disguised rock as acceptable, he came to Professor Membrane's house.

Zim stretched out his robotic legs, trying to get a good view into the windows. "Come on, where's his room...?" he muttered to himself.

"What are you _doing_?"

The alien looked down and immediately regretted doing so. Standing below him was Dib's younger sister, Gaz. She was wearing her signature black attire and skull necklace along her Game Slave 2 in her pocket and a piece of pizza in her hand. Her cubic, purple hair stood in it's usually position, spiking towards her eyes. She lifted an eyebrow at Zim's surprised face. Zim had a deep fear of Gaz; she was truly sinister and Zim did not want to get in her way. _She would make a brilliant accomplice if she wasn't a HYU-man_, he thought. Silently, he lowered himself down until his actual feet were on the ground.

"Good morning, Dib's scary sister!" he waved to her. "I was wondering if you would be so kind to tell Zim which one of these windows opens to Dib-thing's room."

Gaz took a bite of pizza, eyeing the rock in Zim's hands. "Do you plan on throwing that at him?"

"Yes."

"Would it be enough to kill him?"

"Most likely."

"Over there," she answered almost immediately, pointing to the window farthest from Zim's location. Zim nodded and once again rose high above the sinister child and walked over to Dib's window. Sure enough, Zim spotted Dib inside of his room. Luckily, he had his back turned to the window, giving Zim a good view of the back of his large head.

Trying to keep himself from laughing, he took a few steps away from the window, pulled out a large slingshot, and placed the rock inside. Using one of his robotic limbs, he pulled it back about seven feet, calculating his trajectory and taking aim at his head. Fortunately for the Invader, he had a large target.

"Five..." Zim whispered to himself, "four...three...two..."

"_One_."

Quickly ducking his head and letting go of the slingshot, the rock shot forward, barely brushing Zim's wig. The rock collided with Dib's head, knocking off the bed and sending him flying across the room. "Oomf!" Dib hit the opposite wall, sliding down onto the floor, the rock bouncing away from him. He groaned and clutched his throbbing head.

Zim held his breath, running away from the window. As soon as he was on the sidewalk once again, he let out a large, evil laugh. "SUCCESS!" he screamed to the sky as he ran down the sidewalk on his mechanical limbs.

* * *

Dib curled into a ball on his floor, still clutching his head tightly. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from coming out, even though a few managed to escape down his cheeks and onto the floor. The pain on the back of his head stung like a bitch and he didn't know how to make it stop. Opening his eyes, he realized that he had lost his glasses. Removing one hand disdainfully from his head, he felt around on the floor until he connected with the cold, metal rim of his frames. Adjusting them on his nose, he blinked and looked around his room.

His eyes fell on a large, oddly-shaped rock on his floor. Crawling over, one hand still on his throbbing head, he looked at the rock. It looked like a meteorite, but Dib knew that the chances were slim that a meteorite would hit him and he would still be alive.

Carefully, he picked it up. Its weight surprised him and he was forced to use his other hand to support it. He picked himself up off the floor and placed the rock on his desk.  
Dib quirked an eyebrow. There were burn marks around the holes on the rock, as though some person had intentionally burned it.

Or _something_.

Dib narrowed his eyes, fury raging inside him.

"ZIM!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

"Wha...? What is this monstrosity?"

Zim stood in the hallway of Skool, eyes wide in shock. Everywhere strung over the doors and walls were...shapes. Paper shapes of pink, red, and white. Zim knew that the shapes were familiar, but he couldn't quite think of what they were. Turning his head, he noticed two girls coming up behind him. He recognized them from his class with Ms. Bitters but had no idea what their names were. Not caring about that, Zim reached out a hand, grabbing one by the collar as they walked by.

"You! Pitiful monkey!" he yelled, pointing the girl in the direction of the shapes on the wall. "Tell me what these abominations are immediately!"

"Let go of me, crazy!" she screamed, shaking out of the Invader's grasp. She glared at him, clutching the straps of her backpack tightly. "Those are hearts, dumbass."

Zim narrowed his eyes. He pressed a button on his pack, opening a compartment and started fishing through it with one hand. "Impossible! Stupid pig-smell, those do not look like hearts!" Zim argued, finding what he was looking for. He held up a medium picture of a human heart. The girl's friend covered her mouth in shock and the girl Zim was interrogating just about gagged.

"Why do you even have that?"

Zim looked at the picture for a moment though his contact-covered eyes. "I'm not really sure..." Shrugging, he crumpled up the picture and threw it back into his pack. _I'll throw it at some HYU-man later._

Recovering from almost vomiting, the girl continued. "There is a reason why they're not _real_ hearts! That would be creepy! They're just made like that for today and tomorrow."

"Today and tomorrow?"

"Valentine's Day. Today's February 13th and tomorrow's the 14th. Ms. Bitters and that weird principal were forced to have a normal, old-fashion Valentine's Day this year, so everyone put up the decorations a day early in celebration."

"Hmm," Zim stroked his chin while thinking. The last Valentine's Day he had witnessed involved meat, lots and lots of meat. Plus, it didn't help that Tak, the Irken who despised Zim for ruining her chances of becoming an Invader so she tried to steal his mission and offer Earth to the Almighty Tallest, showed up. Zim pointed a gloved finger at the girl. "You will explain this holiday to Zim at once!"

"Get lost, loser," she sneered before walking away, her friend following her. Zim growled, turning to find a new victim to interrogate. Much to his dismay, the bell rang. "_Yargh!_" he yelled. "_You win this round, Skool bell!_" He muttered some words in Irken under his breath before sauntering off to his class.

Ms. Bitters was in the room, glaring and hissing at the hearts plastered on the wall, her nails scratching at the poor desk underneath her. Zim watched her with confusion, shrugged, and sat down at his seat. He looked throughout the room. People were talking, whispering and laughing with one another. Zim was confused. _What is so interesting to these HYU-mans?_ he thought.

"YOU'RE LATE, DIB!" Ms. Bitters screeched at the big-headed boy walking into the room. He was holding a large ice pack to the back of his head, causing Zim to smirk. Dib ignored the teacher, placed the ice pack on the floor and hopped onto Zim's desk, glaring down at him.

Zim feigned innocence. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Dib scowled and reached into his backpack, pulling out a certain object that made Zim's eyes widen.  
"I have to admit, Zim. You made this rock look like a very convincing meteorite," Dib said, looking over the tampered object in his hands. Zim nodded his head. "Well, I _did_ use the greatest of Irken lasers to disgui-"

Before he could finish, Dib raised the rock above him and, with one swift movement, smashed it against Zim's head, knocking him against his desk. Dib jumped off the desk, picked up his ice pack, and walked to his desk on the opposite side of the room, humming contently to himself.

The rest of the room was silent, all the students gaping at both Dib and the alien with his face flat against his desk. Zim used his hands to remove the rock from the top of his head. Slowly he sat up, eyes burning with pure, untainted hatred as he glared at Dib. He made his way on top of his desk, a purple bruise beginning to form on his green forehead. He took the rock in one hand, gripping it tightly, and started spinning his arm in a large, circular motion.

"OH, YOU HORRIBLE, FOOLISH, WRETCHED, PAIN-IN-THE-ASS DIB!"

The boy gulped.

The alien let out a battle cry and heaved the rock at Dib, using the momentum to send it straight at him. The human gasped, ducking his head in time as the rock flew right over him, smashing a window and and hitting a random pedestrian about fifty feet away on the sidewalk. Dib gaped at Zim as well as the other students. Zim glanced at all the wide-mouthed faces looking at him. "Umm..." he started, twiddling his thumbs while trying to sink back into his chair.

Unfortunately, Ms. Bitters slivered out from behind her desk grabbed both Zim and Dib by their necks.

"You two keep it up, and you'll both be losing your heads! _Do I make myself clear?_" The two enemies glared at each other before nodding hurriedly. The teacher hissed and threw them back at their desks. When the two made it back into their seats, Ms. Bitters added, "Oh, and that window will be coming out of your wallet, Zim."

"OH, COME ON!"

Ms. Bitters ignored the alien and turned to the rest of the students. "Class, as you know, we're going to celebrate Valentine's Day like we did a very long time ago: with candy, cards, and actually love interests. Today, you will have time to pick your Valentine. If you don't have one by tomorrow, will be frowned upon and fail my class. Any questions?" When nobody moved, Ms. Bitters nodded. "Alright, you have time can pick out your Valentines now. Otherwise, turn to page 4521 in your textbooks."

Everyone started to pair up in the classroom except Dib and Zim. Dib sighed and looked out the window, still having the ice pack pressed against the back of his head. He hated Valentine's Day. Nobody would ever want to be his Valentine since everyone thought he was crazy. It's all stupid Zim's fault. He glared at the alien out of the corner of his eye.

Zim on the other hand was looking around, observing the events happening around him while rubbing his painful bruises with his palms, having one of the front of his head as well as the back. The male worm-babies were asking the female worm-babies if they would be their Valentine, in which the female worm-babies would gasp in surprise and nod their heads vigorously. Zim stared at the fellow students trying to make sense of it all. He could try to ask one of the females to be his so-called "Valentine" but most of them were already paired up. Also, it's not like he actually knew the names of any of the students. (Well, besides Dib, of course.) And besides, he wasn't entirely sure of what a Valentine actually _was_.

A small, buzzing noise started to fill the class. They ignored it until it started to get louder. They stopped socializing to listen to it. "Is that...a scream?" one kid asked. Sure enough, it was a scream, not like a scary-movie scream. It was more like a...crazy-fangirl-like scream. And it was coming from outside the building.

Before anyone could move to look out the windows, something ran into a glass window, causing it to crash into millions of pieces. The girls screamed while everyone else covered their faces from the shards. A large _SMACK!_ came next, and everyone lifted their heads to see an animal flat against the wall opposite the windows.

It fell to the floor with a thud, smoke coming out from it's feet, as though it had just flown into the room with using rockets attached to them. Everyone watched it with confusion and surprised expressions as Zim leaned over the desk to scrutinize the animal, only to widen his eyes in shock.

It wasn't _just_ an animal.

It was a dog.

A small, big-eyed, green dog that tackle-hugged the alien as soon as they made eye contact.

"MASTER!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

The whole room was silent. Zim gaped at the creature attached to his front. Quickly he recovered and his surprised look turned into a furious glare.

"GIR! What are you doing here?" he hissed quietly so no one could hear him. Tears started forming in GIR's eyes. "Master ain't huggin' me back..." Zim sighed and awkwardly placed his arms around the disguised robot. Instantly, GIR let out a happy squeal and hugged the poor alien tightly, causing a lot of pressure on his squeedly spooch. He winced at the slight pain.

"Zim, what is he doing here?" Dib stomped over to Zim's desk, his eyes narrowed suspeciously at him. If Zim's evil, and yet completely idiotic, robot minion came into their Skool, it must have been apart of one of Zim's evil plan to enslave the human race.

"How the hell should I know, inferior HYU-man?" Zim yelled back at the paranormal investigator. GIR turned his head to look at the human. "BIG HEAD!" he screamed happily before jumping out of Zim's arms and into Dib's. Dib raised an eyebrow in surprise but nonetheless hugged him back, returning his gaze back to Zim to glare at him.

"Zim, what is the meaning of this?" Ms. Bitters annoyed voice, with a trace of interest, interrupted the stare-off between the two. Zim turned his head toward Ms. Bitters and said, "Ms. Bitters, this is my dog, GIR."

"Meow!" GIR pitched in, trying to be helpful but utterly failing. Zim sighed and shook his head, muttering some words in Irken under his breath. "He's mentally retarded," he explained. Ms. Bitters nodded in understanding.

"Wait, if he's _your_ dog, than why is Dib so pissed about him being here, too?" the girl dressed as a nun asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Dib looked at the dog who was still hugging him tightly at the moment. He smirked. _This is my chance!_ he thought. _I can reveal Zim's true identity right here with this robot!_ As though he was reading his thoughts, Zim snorted. "You can go ahead and take off the disguise," he hissed quietly enough for only the both of them to hear. "If you do, Zim will just say that he created the robot and disguised him to avoid any unwanted attention." He chuckled lightly. "They won't believe you, Dib-thing. They never will."

Dib growled. He knew very well the alien was telling the truth. The humans on his planet were too blind and stubborn to notice the fact that Zim was obviously an alien. Plus, they all thought he was crazy anyway. Sighing, he turned to the girl, and just when he was about to answer her question, the large-headed boy of the class who stood next to her (Zim thought his name was Rob or something) chuckled. "Sara, isn't it obvious?" he placed an arm over her shoulder, indicating to Zim that they were so-called Valentines. "Dib's just mad at Zim for bringing their _forbidden love child_ to Skool."

The classroom filled with ferocious laughter. Zim blinked, completely oblivious. "Forbidden love child? What's tha-" Before he could finish, Dib threw GIR at Zim, hitting him right in the squeedly spooch. "Augh!" Zim took deep breaths and clutched his middle tightly. He tried to ignore the pain and glared angrily at Dib, who, to his surprise, wasn't even looking at him. His cheeks were flushed, causing Zim to raise an eyebrow in confusion, and he was glaring something fierce at the boy. "A _**love child**_? With _**him**_? That's just _WRONG_!" he screeched, obviously furious beyond belief. Zim and the others jumped slightly at the sound of his tone. He hadn't sounded that angry with someone for a long time.

"Rob, shut up and the rest of you, **sit down**! You've wasted enough of my time already!" Ms. Bitters screamed. Instantly, everyone returned to their chairs, grabbing their textbooks. "Zim, you can keep your filthy, retarded dog in the classroom as long as he doesn't cause any distractions. And that other window is coming out of your pocket as well."

Zim groaned. "Thanks a lot, GIR!" he growled. GIR smiled happily. "You're welcome, Master!" Zim sighed once again, and peered over at human still refrained from looking at him, his face still a shade of red. _Why is his face all red? Is he sick?_ Zim thought, turning back to his textbook. Whatever was going on, Zim knew nothing about it while Dib seemingly knew everything. And that annoyed him more than anything.

Zim made his decision. Dib was going to answer every single question about this mysterious holiday and his out-of-character behaviors. Whether he liked it or not.

* * *

"You're seriously telling me you broke into my classroom and publicly embarrassed Zim to ask _if we could have tacos for dinner tonight_?" Zim yelled furiously at GIR. They were in the lunch room at the moment, Zim sitting in a chair while GIR sat on the table in front of him, happily eating the food Zim bought.

"Uh-huh! We hadn't had it in a while, so I thought we could have it t'night! Also, we needs a new fridge," he smiled, oblivious to the fact that Zim's hands were itching to strangle him. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he ended up just slapping his hand against his forehead. A sharp pain passed though his body. "Ow!" he stared at his hand surprised before remembering that he still had bruises from his earlier fight with Dib.

"That's fine, the computer can fix the fridge." He turned his attention back to GIR, who was currently eating Zim's muffin. "But listen, GIR. I'm going over to the Dib-HYU-man's house tonight to torture him into giving me answers about Valentine's Day. I can give you money to buy some tacos, alright?"

GIR dropped the muffin that was in his hands back onto the plate, tears forming in his eyes once again. "But we need to has a FAMILY dinna t'night! And witout chu there, it wouln't be fa...fa...WAAHH! WAHHH! WWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The robot burst into tears, flailing his arms randomly as his ear-splitting shrieks filled the cafeteria. Some of the kids covered their ears while others turned to look at Zim's table questioningly. Zim avoided eye contact with everyone and quickly tried to think of something to shut the robot up. Remembering something he had seen in one of GIR's movies, he picked up the robot, hesitantly bringing it to his chest, wrapping his arms around him. "There, there..." he muttered, patting his back awkwardly like he had remembered.

Once GIR had calmed down and everyone had returned to eating, Zim placed the sniveling robot-dog on the table. His eyes darted around the room, falling on Dib's usual table. Gaz was there sitting all alone, playing her Game Slave 2. Dib must have gone to the bathroom or something. "Hmm," Zim hummed thoughtfully. Standing up, he turned to look sternly at GIR. "Don't move."

GIR saluted him. "Yes, sir!" Even though the disguise covered the robot's eyes, his voice indicated Zim that he had switched into Duty Mode again. Walking away from the table, he strutted over to Gaz's and stood next to her, slamming his palms on the table to get her attention. Gaz looked up at him, groaned, and continued playing her game. "What do _you_ want?"

"Gaz-thing, I was simply wondering...you wouldn't happen to have any tacos at your home base currently, would you?"

Gaz hit the pause button on her game and looked up at Zim again. "Yeah, Dib just recently bought a lot. More than I'd ever eat in a lifetime, actually. I think he was planning on using them to lure your robot away from you or something. Whatever it was, I don't really care." She sighed. "What's it to you?"

Zim grinned evilly, a plan forming in his head.

"Allow me to make you an offer..."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

"Dib, you've been grumbling to yourself ever since lunch. You're acting more crazy than usual," Gaz muttered, not looking up from her game. Skool had finished and the two were on their way home as usual. Dib glared at his sister.

"You know perfectly well why I'm doing that."

Gaz sighed. "I _told_ you; Zim and I weren't trading explosives or anything at lunch. We were just talking."

"And yet you refuse to tell me _what_ you were talking about! That only _raises_ my suspicions that you are plotting against me!" Dib waved his hands enthusiastically as he talked.

"Oh, shut up. You're just still upset about that whole 'forbidden love child' thing with Zim." Gaz smirked at Dib while the boy flushed a heavy shade of red.

"_I AM NOT_!"

The two siblings continued to argue as they walked down the nearly deserted sidewalk. Two shadowed figures hid in a bush farther down the sidewalk, simply waiting. "You have the rope, right?" the larger of the two asked. "Sure do, Master!" the other replied a bit loudly.

"Shh! They're coming!"

Sure enough, Gaz and Dib approached them fast, seemingly oblivious to the two figures hiding. "Wait for it..." the larger whispered. As soon as the two was in front of them, he yelled, "NOW!" The smaller sprang out of the bush and attacked Dib. "What the - ?" the human tried to say before a rope was tightly wrapped around him, momentarily cutting off his air supply and preventing him from finishing. He turned to look at his attacker, only to widen his eyes in surprise and momentary confusion.

"GIR?"

"Heehee!" GIR, undisguised, tied the ends of the rope together in a bow behind Dib using his small, robot hands. "Big Head looked surprised to see me," he smiled, despite the fact that he just practically kidnapped the human. Dib turned. "Why are you - ?" Before he could finish, four, metal arms grabbed the ropes and his legs and lifted off the ground and into the air. Dib struggled to look down, but the rope and the arms prevented him from moving.

"You know, Dib-thing, this would be the perfect time to kill you if I didn't need your assistance," a voice hissed smugly. Dib growled. "Zim, put me down now!" The robot arms lowered and twisted Dib around to look at Zim. The human was startled to find himself looking into Zim's natural red eyes, but snapped out of it and glared at the undisguised alien.

Zim simply smirked and pulled out a roll of duck tape with his real arms. "Not this time, Dib. You are needed." He snapped off a piece of tape and gingerly placed it over Dib's mouth, surprising the human again with his unexpected carefulness. "Come, GIR!" The robot jumped into Zim's arms and the two turned and walked alongside Gaz, who had been playing her game the entire time.

Gaz hit the pause button and looked up at Dib who was still suspended in the air, struggling against the ropes, all words being muffled by the duct tape. "Oh, and by the way, I invited Zim and his robot over to our house." She shrugged, ignoring Dib's wide-eyed stares. "I hope you don't mind."

* * *

"Now, Gaz. Remember the plan..."

"Yeah, yeah. I entertain your robot-dog thing and you promise to kill Dib if he doesn't answer all of your questions. I got it," Gaz waived the alien away as she fished through the refrigerator, looking for some pizza for her and some tacos for GIR.

Zim nodded and walked up stairs, still carrying Dib above him with his PAK arms. The two made their way into Dib's bedroom. Zim threw the tied human on the bed as he closed the door behind them and locked it. His PAK legs grabbed Dib again and shoved him against the bed's headboard while Zim himself made his way onto the bed as well. He stood over Dib, and with a smirk, ripped off the duct tape without warning.

"AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!" Dib screamed at the stinging pain, a few tears involuntarily slipping out of his eyes. Zim couldn't help but laugh at his enemy's pain. Dib glared at him. _So you think that's funny, huh?_ he thought, and he immediately kicked up one of his legs, nailing Zim right in his bruise.

Zim screamed just as Dib had done, and clutched his throbbing head. Dib let out a satisfied chuckle. Instantly, the Invader's PAK legs came out and pinned Dib's legs down, rendering him immobile. Zim growled and pulled out some sort of tube of lotion. He squirted the lotion-like substance into his hands and rubbed the two bruises on his head. Instantly, the two wounds started to disappear and he tossed the lotion on the other side of the room.

"Look, Dib!" Zim yelled, gripping the humans shoulders. "I have had questions **all day** about this subject, and you are going to tell Zim the answers, understand?"

Dib growled. "I won't give you any answers, Zim! And I never will, got that?"

"You don't have a choice, worm-baby!" Zim poked Dib's forehead harshly with his claw. "Now tell me," he paused to grab Dib's trenchcoat collars and pull the human close.

"_What the hell is Valentine's Day_?"

Silence filled the room. Dib gaped at Zim while the alien continued to sternly glare at him. Dib's brows furrowed in annoyance.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Zim raised an eyebrow. "Of course I'm not kidding you. Zim does not joke around on this subject."

Dib sighed. Leave it to Zim to make such a big deal about some crappy holiday. "Alright, I'll answer your questions. What do you wanna know?"

"Not so defiant now, are we, pathetic HYU-man?" Zim chucked. He released his grasp on Dib's coat a little, letting him fall back away from Zim's face. "Zim's first question about the strange Earth holiday is how did it begin? Knowing the history may prove useful."

Sighing again, Dib replied, "Okay, have you ever heard of the ancient Romans?"

* * *

"Unbelievable..."

Gaz rested her head on her hand and watched the robot across the table with fascination and wide eyes, her Game Slave 2 long since forgotten in her lap. GIR happily giggled and shoved a whole taco into his metal mouth, swallowing it whole. He licked his fingers clean of any crumbs and repeated the process almost immediately with his other hand. This had been going on for about five minutes and already about 43 tacos had been eaten.

Gaz blinked. She always knew _she_ was a hungry person, but this..._thing_ was eating about ten tacos a minute!

Finally, GIR had finished the pile of tacos that had been presented to him. "More tacos, please!" he yelled, sticking his tongue out and hitting the table with his small hand. Gaz stood up and walked over to the refrigerator, shaking her head.

"Un-freaking-believable..."

* * *

"Man, is your history boring!" Zim groaned after Dib had finished explaining. Something about some guy called Valentine? Zim didn't know or care. "So pretty much this is a holiday celebrating an emotion?" Dib shrugged."Yeah, it celebrates love."

"I thought you HYU-mans only have love for your parents?"

"That's a different kind of love. The love we celebrate is also called attraction. It's the love that men and women usually have when they mate."

"You creatures require an emotion to mate? That's ridiculous!" Zim thought for a moment, bringing his hand to his chin. "Come to think of it, I know nothing about HYU-man reproduction. How _do_ you pigs mate, anyway?" Instantly, Dib's face was flushed with a light shade of pink.

"Well, uh, you don't necessarily NEED love to, uh, mate..." Dib's voice trailed off as he avoided eye-contact with the Irken.

"Your avoiding my question, Dib-thing," Zim growled, grabbing his collar and pulling him eye-to-eye again. "Answer it or I will kill you and use your gargantuan head as a trophy when I take over this wretched planet!" He tightened his grip on Dib's collar.

"How do you filthy HYU-mans mate?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

Dib gulped, the gears in his brain turning as he tried to think. His cheeks were dyed red with embarrassment and he tried as hard as he could do avert his eyes from Zim serious stare. The human knew that Zim wasn't going to back down on his threat to kill him, nor could he risk the chance of giving the Invader the opportunity to destroy the only person standing between him and world annihilation, but he also knew he didn't want to give a detailed version of "the talk" with the Irken, despite the fact that was what Zim was probably demanding at the moment. How could he explain it without having to go through all the awkward details?

"Z-Zim, you wouldn't happen to know the difference between human male and female anatomy...would you?" Dib eyed the alien hopefully, praying that Zim had an idea of what Dib was referring to. That would eliminate a long talk with the alien.

Unfortunately, the alien scowled, his antennas falling back against his head in annoyance. "Why would I have such useless information? The differences between your FILTHY species' sexes could in no way help me destroy the HYU-man race, you idiotic pig!"

_Damnit!_

Dib could feel the redness on his cheeks instantly darken and spread to the other regions of his face. He refused to make eye contact with Zim, thus missing the alien raise an eyebrow in mixed confusion and interest at the human's reaction. But Dib was worried; if he were to explain human mating to the alien, Zim would need to know what two _specific_ body parts are needed. And seeing how he didn't know, he was sure to command Dib to show him the parts to get an idea of what he was talking about.

And Dib definitely didn't want to do **that**.

"What's wrong with you, Dib-filth?" Zim questioned. He removed a hand from Dib's collar and poked gently at the human's cheek with his gloved claw. "Are you sick?" After a moment, Zim shrieked and shoved the human away, forcing him into the headboard, hitting the giant bruise on the back of Dib's head. "Don't get your disGUSting illness germs on Zim!"

"Ow..." Dib wished he could clutch at his now throbbing head but the rope prevented him from doing so. He sighed. "I'm not sick, Zim. I was blushing."

"LIAR!" Zim pointed a finger accusingly at Dib. "I know very well that one does not turn red when he or she blushes!"

"Yeah, maybe not to YOU," Dib hissed, "but humans turn red when they blush!"

"Why, for Tallest sake, we you blushing, then? Huh?"

"I was **embarrassed**, dumbass!"

Zim lowered his hand and sent a questioning look Dib's way. "Why were you embarrassed?"

"Because, to tell the truth, human reproduction is NOT a casual conversation to have with someone! It's awkward and believe me, NO ONE wants to talk about it to someone who DOESN'T know how it works!" Dib snapped.

"FINE. We'll go onto my next question. Whiny worm-baby..." Zim snarled, pulling himself closer to Dib. He leaned over him. "Let's get back on topic. What do HYU-mans _your_ age do on Valentine's Day?"

Dib sighed in relief. _Finally, a normal question._"To keep it simple, boys usually ask girls if they want to be the Valentines. People who are Valentines are, as you would say, temporary 'love-pigs.'" He said "love-pigs" in a mocking tone, causing Zim to look insulted. "Do not mock the Mighty Zim! Continue!"

"Anyway, if the girl says yes, they become Valentines for the day. Most of the time, Valentines tend to grow into relationships, some long and others short, after Valentine's Day is over. People my age tend to keep things simple, by giving each other gifts, holding hands, hugging, kissing-"

"'Kissing?' What's 'kissing?'" Zim interrupted, coming across the verb he didn't understand. He knew what hugging was thanks to his good-for-nothing robot minion, and holding hands was...well, self explanatory. But kissing? He had only heard the word a few times since he landed on Earth, but had no clue as to what it meant.

"...You don't know what kissing is?" Dib widened his eyes in surprise. He had seen GIR watching romantic movies through some of the hidden cameras he had placed inside Zim's base (which had been placed with the help of the oblivious robot) and they contained plenty of kissing. Surely Zim had watched even the smallest bit of it?

"I do not," Zim simply stated, his eyes now brimming with curiosity. Obviously, he was missing out on some important detail. "Tell me what kissing is," he said. It was less of a command and more of a statement.

"Um, yeah. So a kiss is..." Dib paused to organize his words. "Pretty much, a kiss is when someone places their lips on another person's skin. Usually, it's on their lips. It's a surefire way of showing intimacy and affection. I'm surprised GIR hasn't tired to ki-"

"Ugh, that's DISGUSTING!" Zim exclaimed. Dib shrugged. "It may be, but many people do it."

"So in other words, if you were to place your lips on Zim's," the alien paused to shiver at the thought, "you would be kissing me?"

A light blush crossed Dib's cheeks again. "Yeah, that seems to be right. But you don't _have_ to kiss someone on the lips. It can be other areas too. Most of the time, it's on one's face, but if you really want to get intimate, you can kiss anywhere on the human body."

"Have you ever kissed anyone, Dib-HYU-man?"

The personal question caught the boy off guard. He looked at Zim, bewildered, to find Zim looking seriously interested in learning Dib's answer. If he had access to his arms, Dib would scratch the back of his head awkwardly. "Uh, no. No, I haven't kissed anyone in my life. Not on the lips or anywhere. And I haven't been kissed by anyone either."

Zim nodded. He was starting to become curious in this strange human ritual. Irkens didn't really have much of a way of showing intimacy, mostly because the feeling of love was rare to find in their high-tech species. But this sounded remotely intriguing, and a bit revolting, to the alien.

Zim, in a weird way, wanted to know the feeling of being kissed.

He reluctantly glanced at Dib. The human was at his mercy, forced to obey his every command in order to survive. This would be the only possible chance Zim would ever have at being kissed, being equally as unpopular as his enemy. He let a disgusted shiver run through his green body. _Why did it have to be Dib?_ he internally groaned. Taking a deep breath, Zim turned his full body towards Dib, reaching out to grab a hold of the ropes restraining the boy. Grabbing them, he pulled Dib slowly across the bed over to him, his PAK legs releasing their hold on Dib's legs and returning to the metal contraption on Zim's back. With a bit of disdain, Zim grabbed hold of both of Dib's shoulders and looked him right into the eye.

"Dib-thing, I want you to kiss me."

Heat instantly flooded up into Dib's cheeks turning him bright red. "Wh-what?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Earth pig," Zim growled, referring to Dib's blush. "I just want to be kissed, and unfortunately, you're the closest person in proximity. And your sister scares the living hell out of me."

Dib swallowed uncomfortably. He was in a situation where he couldn't deny Zim's request, seeing how he valued his life and everything. But would he crawl low enough that he would kiss his mortal enemy, his MALE mortal enemy at that?

"Zim...I...I-I can't."

"Why the hell not?" The aliens voice was filled with harsh annoyance, causing Dib to lightly flinch.

"It's not allowed." Dib knew he was actually speaking the truth, but he knew that the alien would never believe him.

Fortunately, before Zim could reply, something smashed against Dib's bedroom door, breaking the lock and causing it to swing open. Zim and Dib jumped away from each other in surprise. There in the doorway stood Gaz, holding a glass of water and GIR in her two hands. And man, did she look _pissed_.

"That's it, Zim. Deal's off. Not only are we out of tacos, waffles and burritos, but your retarded robot tried to eat my game," she hissed in a demon-like fashion. "The rest of you questions will have to wait. But now, I want you OUT." And with that, she tossed the glass of water at Zim, causing the glass to break and water to fly all over Zim's skin.

"AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!" Zim screeched in pure agony, stumbling back as he tried to stop the burning across his body. Gaz threw GIR at Zim as well. The alien caught him, but it had caused the two to stumble into Dib's window, breaking it and sending the two tumbling to the ground.

Zim and GIR fell to the ground with a thud. For a human, this would've resulted in a serious injury. However, being a more advanced that the human race, the Irken merely picked himself off he ground, trying to ignore the pain of the burning water. Looking up at the window he had fallen out of, he hissed and shook his fist at the window.

"CURSE YOU, DIB'S SCARY SISTER! CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

"OW!" Zim cried out as he accidentally poked himself in the eye while trying to put in his contact. After a moment of pain, he retried the action, this time being successful, and straightened out his wig, hiding his antennas. GIR stood next to him, pulling up his dog costume and zipping it up.

The two were still at Dib's house but they were hiding in some bushes. Dib's father had come home, using one of those levitating computers, and brought some of his international colleagues, who were also using the computers. Zim couldn't afford to be seen by some of the greatest scientists in the world, so he had fished out both his and GIR's disguises out of his PAK.

"Now listen GIR," Zim whispered. A Swedish scientist was outside, looking at the impressive electric fence around the house. "I need you to go to the movie store. Pick up as many movies as you can that involve HYU-man affection." Zim shoved some bills into GIR's hood before placing it carefully over the robot's head. "Understand?"

"Mm-hmm!" GIR whispered back, giggling for no apparent reason. Zim nodded. "Now GO!" GIR saluted him and quickly ran off down the road, squealing happily. Zim smacked his forehead in annoyance, however GIR had easily distracted the scientist. Zim used it as his advantage and ran out from inside the bushes, running past the scientist silently. As soon as he was on the sidewalk, he pulled out his PAK legs and let them carry him down the road at a fast pace.

Zim crossed his arms in annoyance. He hadn't gotten to ask all of his questions but it didn't annoy him as much as Dib's words.

_"It's not allowed."_

What wasn't allowed? Obviously, kissing was allowed or Dib wouldn't have explained it. Zim growled. _The HYU-man was just trying to avoid repeating the human ritual with Zim!_ he thought. _Who wouldn't want to kiss Zim?_ Well, Zim really didn't want to kiss Dib either, but what choice did he have? Most of the people he interacted with were robots and Irkens, both who probably didn't have any idea of the ritual either, and most human children would probably rather be destroyed from the inside out than perform an intimate action with the alien.

Besides, Dib was nothing more than a puppet at that moment. He was forced to do whatever Zim had said, regardless of Earth laws. He **must** have been just trying to avoid kissing him!

Unless...

There was some law against kissing aliens.

"Gah!" Zim gasped, quickly retracting his PAK legs. What if the humans knew that Zim wasn't one of them? Not only would it ruin the mission, it would bring shame to both Zim and the Irken name! Zim took off running down the road, suddenly feeling very paranoid of his surroundings. Luckily, he was already close to home base, so he simply ran inside, slamming the door behind him.

"COMPUTER!" Zim commanded in between gasps of breath. "What?" the computer's normal, annoyed voice answered Zim after a moment. "Scan all Earth laws! Search for ones that involve aliens and kissing!"

"Aliens and _what_?" Confusion was evident in the computer's voice. Zim sighed. _Computer is Irken technology. Of course it doesn't know about the ritual._ "Just do it, Computer!"

"Ugh. Fine..." the computer groaned. Zim threw off his wig and pulled out his contacts. He put the contacts in their case and threw both the case and the hairpiece in his PAK. Another thought came to mind. "Also, do a search on HYU-man reproduction. I feel like that information will come in handy."

* * *

GIR waltzed through the movie store. In his hands were a couple movies. They had been in the "Romance" section and the store manager had described them as "chick-flicks." GIR often watched these so-called "chick-flicks," so he just grabbed some of his favorites.

He danced through the aisle, only glancing at a few titles until a cover caught his eye. He stopped at looked at it. "Ooooh," GIR said absently as he picked the movie off the shelf. On the cover were two men, both wearing cowboy hats and jean jackets. In the background was a pretty picture of a lake with a mountain view. GIR looked at the name.

"Brokeback...Mountain?" he raised an non-existent eyebrow under the dog suit. "I LOVE MOUNTAINS!" he exclaimed, putting the movie with the others under his arm and skipping towards the register.

* * *

Dib sighed, grumbling to himself as he made his way upstairs. He had managed to escape the ropes GIR had tied him in by using a piece of broken glass from his window Zim and GIR fell out of to cut open the ropes and free himself. No thanks to Gaz. She left the room in a huff as soon as Zim and GIR had broken the window. He had also used that weird Irken lotion that Zim had left in his room on his bruise. It stung worse than the bruise itself, but sure enough, it made the bruise disappear almost instantly.

Dib had walked downstairs and realized that Professor Membrane had come home with his colleagues again. Dib hated when they came over; the only thing they ever did was talk about how big his head was, followed by his father saying that it will come in handy when Dib finally learns to study "real" science and then the Professor and the other great scientists would ignore Dib and his sister the rest of the evening. Mysterious Mysteries didn't help, spending the entire episode chasing after a woman in a fairy costume.

Dib decided to retire early to his bedroom that evening. He walked in a closed the door behind him before falling onto his bed in a huff. It had been over an hour since Zim had left Dib's room and Dib sort of wished he would come back. At least with Zim there, Dib would have something to _do_.

Dib looked up from his bed at his computer monitor. Getting up, he walked over and switched on the hidden cameras in Zim's base. _At least it's_ something, he thought. Two different windows automatically opened. The first window was split into four section, showing different angles of the main floor of the base. The second window was split into six parts, showing different angles of Zim's actual base.

Dib found Zim in his base as he expected, but he watched in confusion. Zim was facing the main computer as usual, but he was motionless and was gaping at the screen, his eye twitching every once in a while. It looked like he was reading something. Dib hit a few buttons on his keyboard and the camera switched to a different angle, allowing Dib to read what was on the screen.

"Sexual intercourse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia."

"Oh my God," Dib bit his lip trying to keep from laughing. He had to be quiet or else his father, or worse, his sister, would come into his room. Dib watched as Zim blinked, and finally croaked out, "Doesn't that hurt?" Dib snorted, covering his mouth to keep the laughter in, a few chuckles escaping. He was obviously enjoying this more than an enemy should, but he didn't care. It was just too damn _hilarious_.

Dib heard a door slam, and switched screens. GIR had come home. He quickly stripped out of his dog suit and ran into the kitchen, hopping into the trash can. Dib quickly switched screens back to the base, to see GIR shoot out of a tunnel into Zim's part of the lab.

"Master! I got 'da movieesss!" GIR waved three objects in his hand, which Dib guessed to be the movies. Zim snapped out of his shocked faze, quickly exiting out of the window on the screen, and turned toward the robot. "You took too long, GIR!" Zim yelled, walking toward GIR and taking a movie out of his robot hand.

"What is this? 'Notting Hill?'" Zim flipped it over and quickly skimmed the back. "Nicely done, GIR! This looks like it has enough HYU-man affection in it!" Dib raised an eyebrow. _He's_ still _interesting in that crap?_ Dib figured that Zim would've snapped out of it by now. Dib shrugged and continued watching.

"Uh-huh! I also got 'Titanic ag'in since I know ya' like that one!" GIR waved the movie in front of Zim, who nodded approvingly. _Must be because everyone dies in it_, Dib thought, puffing out his cheeks. "'Nd I also got this new one! Can we watch it first?" GIR waved the last movie in front of the alien. Zim raised an invisible eyebrow, placing the other two movies on the ground and taking the new one in his hands. "What is this?" he asked before looking at the title.

"'Brokeback Mountain?'"

That was enough to push Dib over the edge. He fell out of his chair and onto the floor, clutching his stomach as he laughed harder than he had in a long time. "Oh...my....God!" he said in between laughter. "He's a...total idiot!"

Downstairs, Professor Membrane and the other great scientists were talking about a weird dog that the scientist from Sweden saw when they heard a thud followed by uncontrollable laughter. "What is that?" the scientist from Saudi Arabia asked. The Professor waved it off. "Oh, that's just my son, acting insane again."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

* * *

Slamming the door behind him, Zim strode out of his yard and onto the sidewalk, an exact destination in his mind. It was late at night. Zim figured it was around 11:05 PM Earth time, but he didn't care about that.

Zim and GIR had decided to watch that Mountain movie first. Zim figured that it may help answer some of his questions, seeing how it involved affection between two men which Dib and he were, and GIR just wanted to see the mountains and cowboy hats.

However, both of them didn't expect how unbelievably awkward and unnerving that movie really was. It didn't help that because Zim understood kissing and..._other_ human rituals, he understood everything that was going on in the movie. It pulled at his squeedly spooch so much that he couldn't bring himself to feel happy when one of the guys died at the end.

The Hill movie was no help whatsoever, except for giving Zim more examples of kissing and showing how utterly dramatic humans can get over nothing. Zim himself had left during the middle of the boat movie to go to his base, finally understanding what the male and female characters were _doing_ in that steamy room.

Once Zim had gotten to the base, he asked if the computer had finished scanning the Earth laws. "Scan was completed four minutes and thirty-nine seconds ago, Earth time," the computer had said, it's voice filled with boredom. "No laws involving aliens and this so-called 'kissing' found." This had pissed Zim off. He returned to the main floor and had stormed out the door despite GIR's questioning yells.

And there Zim was, walking down the street, fury practically radiating off his body. That Mountain movie had so many new questions forming in his head. In the movie, the main characters' love-pigs as well as the other Earth humans had been cruel to the two males and their odd affection towards each other, saying it wasn't allowed and stuff. How was it not allowed? The males didn't seem to burst into flames or anything when they kissed. Zim saw nothing wrong with it. But there was one thing he was sure of; all these confusing questions really annoyed the alien along with the fact that Dib hadn't been lying to him.

"Let's see the Dib-thing get out of **this**" Zim hissed, once again extracting his PAK legs.

* * *

Dib was fast asleep in his bed when Zim arrived at his house. Zim was able to easily slip into the human's room since the window was still broken from his earlier fall. The Irken slowly fell on his knees over the human, somewhat straddling his body. He glared at the sleeping Dib before slowly rasing his hand and slapping the human across the face.

"OW! WHAT THE H-" Dib was cut off by a black glove forcefully covering his mouth. He looked straight up and was surprised to find himself reflected in furious red eyes. He glared back. "Now listen, pathetic HYU-man," Zim hissed almost silently, close enough to Dib's face so only Dib could possibly hear him. "Zim still has questions and I know that you still have answers. Zim is being considerate; I'll let you answer them with the full use of your body and limbs. However, if you decide to not answer my questions and instead scream for help, I will waste no time in destroying you. Do we have a deal?"

Dib kept his eyes narrowed suspiciously, but slowly nodded at the Irken's words. Zim smirked and removed his hand from Dib's mouth, slowly backing up to give Dib space to move. Dib crawled out from underneath the covers. He was wearing a loose-fitting, black tee-shirt with matching black pajama pants. He made himself comfortable against the headboard before looking back at Zim. "Go ahead," he whispered.

"Why is it forbidden for two males to show intimacy and affection towards one another?" Zim asked, not missing a beat. Dib sighed. He had seen this one coming. "Technically, it's not forbidden. It's just not always accepted by society. When two males or two females are in love with one another, it's called homosexuality or being gay. In this town, homosexuality is somewhat neutrally accepted."

Zim nodded understandably. He was relieved to finally have an answer for **that** question, but there was still another one attached to it. "Why is GIR our 'forbidden love child?'" he asked.

Dib turned bright red at the question almost instantly. He crawled towards Zim. "GIR is **NOT** our love child! Understand that!" he growled in the alien's face. Zim glared, pushing the human away. "Then what is a love child?" he challenged. Dib smirked, a small plan forming in his mind. "A love child is a child produced when an unmarried couple take part in _sexual intercourse_."

Zim's antennas fell back against his head. His eyes grew wide and his green cheeks slowly started turning blue. His right eye twitched a few times. Dib's smirk grew wider, having witnessed an Irken blush for the first time. "You wouldn't happen to know what _sexual intercourse_ means, would you, spaceboy?"

Zim's blush grew bluer and he snapped his head towards Dib. "Shut your noise tube, Dib!" he growled a bit loudly. Instantly he brought down his voice again. "Then why did that Earth child at Skool say that GIR was our love child? We never produced him."

Dib shrugged. "Sometimes, if your gay or too young to reproduce, you can share custody of an animal or some other object as a love child. What Rob was implying is that we're both gay and GIR was proof of that."

"...Oh," Zim said. Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim's out-of-character remark, expecting something along the lines of, "Foolish HYU-man! As if the mighty Zim would have a love child with YOU!" But instead, Zim just sat there on his bed, twiddling his thumbs, his blue blush still on his cheeks. Dib blinked, not expecting the alien to look so damn _cute_ at the moment.

"...Dib-HYU-man, is it possible to have a homosexual Valentine at Skool?"

Dib turned red again and scratched the back of his head where his bruise used to be. "Um, yeah, you can have a gay Valentine at Skool. Nobody thinks much of it since we're children and the teachers have already lost faith in us." Zim simply nodded, stil playing with his thumbs. Dib froze when a thought dawned on him. "You're not thinking that **we** should be Valentines, are you?"

Zim jumped up in surprise, his entire face completely blue. "No, you inferior, horrible, disruptive DIB! Is there such a problem with Zim being CURIOUS?" Zim pointed his gloved finger at Dib. "Anyway, you should be grateful to EVER considered a possible Valetine candidate for the greatness that is ZIM!" The thought of being Valentines with Dib had in fact passed through Zim's mind but it was quickly followed by the thought of rather committing suicide than ruin his reputation like that.

Blinking, Dib stared at Zim. As much as Dib was expecting such an outburst, he didn't expect the large amount of defensiveness in Zim's voice and actions. Thinking it over, Dib finally said, "You just want someone to kiss you, don't you?" Zim dropped his finger, staring at Dib, utterly dumbfounded. That gave Dib his answer. Smirking, he stood up, taking a step towards the alien.

"Tell you what. Since I know how much you are _dying_ to be kissed by the greatness that his DIB..." he spoke mockingly and took another step toward Zim. The Irken realized what he was doing and took a step back, only to slip on the sheets and fall over onto the bed. "...I'll let you be my Valentine on one condition. You can't make any plans to take over the world or destroy me tomorrow. Okay?" He leaned over Zim, placing a finger underneath Zim's chin, lifting up his head to make him look at Dib.

The way that Dib was exerting his dominance over Zim sent a shock wave though Zim's body. It may have been the odd feeling of submission Zim was feeling or the fact that he had learned more about human affection than he had ever wanted in one evening that had caused it, but it was different. And Zim didn't like different. Growling, he slapped the hand away from his chin. "You just want the chance to prove that someone can actually have affection towards you, Dib-filth." Zim stood up again, meeting Dib face-to-face. "_Fine._ I accept your conditions if you accept mine. You must promise that **nothing** will come of this and that you won't try to destroy Zim tomorrow."

"Done." Dib shrugged. He held out his arm towards Zim and said the words he never thought he'd say. "So Zim, will you be my Valentine?" Zim blinked at the hand in front of him. With a trace of awkwardness, Zim returned the favor, placing his hand inside Dib's. "Yes, Zim will become Dib's love-pig." The two shook hands while the clock next to Dib's bed struck midnight.

* * *

As Zim walked home on his own two feet, and as Dib began back into his bed, both felt completely restless. Zim's hands twitched slightly as his shoulders sagged, while Dib clutched the sheets on his bed tightly, trying to make himself comfortable.

_Oh God..._ Dib thought.

_Oh Tallest..._ Zim thought.

_...what did I get myself into?_


	8. Chapter 8

**WARNING! LONG CHAPTER AHEAD!**

* * *

Chapter 8 (Final)

* * *

Dib sighed, pulling on his trench coat. He hadn't gotten that much sleep, even after Zim had left. The boy had never had a Valentine before, so he spent a few hours researching what he was supposed to do. He already knew the basics since he explained it to Zim but he didn't know specific behaviors he was supposed to have. Plus, he had been working on a small project at the same time, so that took away two hours of sleep Dib could have had.

Sighing again, Dib grabbed his backpack and looked through it, making sure he had everything. When he was sure he did, he zipped it up and threw it onto his back. His feet dragged across the floor as he made it over to Gaz's room. "Gaz?" he asked, knocking on her door lightly. "You ready to go yet?" "I'm not going," her voice from behind the door mumbled. Dib groaned. "You can't skip Skool, Gaz!" He knocked on the door a bit harder.

The door swung open and Gaz glared angrily at her brother, clutching an ice pack to her head while standing there in her pajamas. "Don't knock, don't speak, just shut up and listen," she snarled. "Your little alien friend woke me up last night with his stupid, loud voice. And then you kept me awake with your constant typing and all the noises you make from doing that small 'project' of yours. I don't care why Zim was here last night, nor do I care what _you_ were doing, but I do care about the fact that both of you gave me a bad migraine!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Dib waived away her complaints, still half-asleep, causing Gaz to silently fume. "Can you do me one favor?" Dib twisted his head towards Gaz, giving her a good angle of the side of his face. "Right here...?" He muttered, poking his cheek thoughtlessly. Almost instantly, Gaz's free hand swung around and smacked Dib across his face, knocking him over and causing him to skid across the floor.

Getting up, Dib shook his head, snapping out of his sleepy faze and feeling wide awake, not even noticing the pain in his cheek. "Thanks Gaz! " he said. "No problem," Gaz grumbled. Dib jumping up from the ground, and as he started running down the stairs, yelled, "Wish me luck with my Valentine!"

"Wait, you have a Valentine?" Shock was clear in Gaz's voice. "Who would be Valentines with you?"

"Don't worry, it's only Zim! Hope you feel better, sis!" his voice called from downstairs before the sound of the front door slammed. Gaz stayed motionless under the door jam for a moment before sighing and returning to her room. She shut the door behind her and crawled back onto her bed where her Game Slave 2 was waiting. Balancing the ice pack on her head, she returned to playing her game, all while muttering to herself.

"About time, you idiots. About _damn_ time."

* * *

"Tell me!"

"No, GIR."

"TELL ME!"

"NO, GIR!"

"TELLL MEEEE!"

"LEAVE ME ALOOOONE!"

Zim ran into the living room, grabbing his wig and contacts that were waiting for him by the door. He tried to put them on fast as he could, but it wasn't fast enough; GIR came running after Zim and latched onto the Irken's leg. "Please tell me!" he cried, keeping a tight hold onto Zim's leg. The Invader hissed, trying to shake the robot off his leg without succeeding. "GIR, let go of me!"

GIR shook his head wildly. "Not till ya tell me who ya Valentine is! Ya been up all nigh', workin' 'n' readin' stuff 'bout Valentines! TELL ME!"

"You don't need to know, GIR!"

"Ya don't tell me, ya don't go ta Skool!" GIR frowned. He lifted up one of his robot legs before kicking it into the floor, securing it tightly within the foundation, before repeating the action. The robot locked his arms around both of Zim's legs, rendering him immobile. Zim growled, trying to jump out of GIR's arms. "TELL ME, MASTER!

"NO!"

"TELL ME!"

"NO!"

"**TELL ME!**"

"ALRIGHT, FINE! IT'S DIB-THING, OKAY?"

Silence fell over the room. GIR gaped up at Zim. "B...Big Head is ya Valentine?" Zim glared sternly at the robot before straightening his wig and putting in his second contact. "Yes, the Dib is Zim's love-pig. NOW FREE ZIM!" Slowly, GIR unwound his arms from around Zim's legs, falling onto his metal knees since his legs were still stuck. Zim huffed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to leave. Fix the floor while I'm gone." And with that, he left the house, slamming the door behind him.

GIR stayed silent for a few minutes. Finally, he giggled, wiggling his legs out of the floor's grip. Jumping up, he walked over and sat onto the couch, humming contently to himself.

"I always knews it wud work out wit' 'em!"

* * *

Zim arrived at Skool momentarily after he left the house. He used his robot PAK legs to carry him fast across town, afraid that GIR would come outside again and demand more information out of him. Looking around the outside of Skool, he saw many couples sitting and talking, but he didn't see Dib. Zim let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure he was ready to be a Valentine to Dib yet. He did _not_ want to make himself look like an idiot in front of his mortal enemy. Sure, he spent hours of studying what couples did after coming home from Dib's house, but was that enough? Still lost in thought, Zim walked into the building.

Zim froze underneath the doorframe. He looked to the right, then he looked to the left. He quickly ran outside and looked up. The familiar "SKOOL" sign was still their. Zim went back inside, eyes wide with confusion. _Am I at the right place?_

The hallways were completely decked out, layers after layers of paper and lacy hearts, covering almost unseen layers of red, white and pink. The normal, boring green color of the Skool was completely hidden, the floors covered with an odd red rug and the walls and ceilings hidden under the absurd amount of decorations. On every heart were various romantic sayings, such as "Kiss Me," "I Love You," and "Be Mine."

It was _awful._

Zim clutched his squeedly spooch in agony. Every little saying that Zim read sickened him beyond belief. Sure, he may have only known of this emotion for a good eighteen hours, but this was _ridiculous._

Other students looked around with shocked expressions also. However, most of them were in complete awe of what they saw. Zim scowled. _I can't believe HYU-mans actually _like_ all this junk._ Taking a deep breath to calm his squeedly spooch, Zim started walking down the hallway. The rug underneath his feet seemed to suck his feet in as he walked. Zim made a face. "How disturbing," he muttered. Quickly as he could, Zim made his down the hall until he found his class.

The classroom was just as bad as the outside hallway. The ribbons and hearts were everywhere on the walls and ceilings. Every desk was draped with red, white and pink lace and they were separated into pairs, a set for each Valentine's Day couple. Fortunately, it lacked the red rug.

Zim looked around. Even though he was still very early, practically everyone was seated at the desks. The couples were laughing, hugging, holding hands, all things that Dib said couples did. Zim's eyes rested on the pair of desks where his used to be. Seeing as it was the only pair that wasn't taken, he walked over and sat down in one of the chairs.

Ms. Bitters was no where in sight, but you could hear the sound of hissing and clawing from behind her lace-draped desk. Zim guessed that she was hiding underneath it and he didn't blame her; if it wasn't for the fact she could easily destroy him, he would join her.

Zim looked in confusion at the lace on his desk. Removing one of his gloves, he stroked the odd decoration. It felt odd, some areas being rough, others being smooth. He pulled back his hand and hissed at the weird touch.

"I take it you find all these decorations awful as well?"

Zim snapped his head up to see Dib, standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. The human walked towards the alien, reaching out an arm. As soon as he was as close as he could get to Zim without running into the desks, he gently took hold of the Irken's un-gloved hand. Before Zim could protest, Dib flipped his hand palm down and pressed his lips against the green skin in a soft, gentle kiss.

Zim could feel his antennas press against his head underneath his wig and a small blue blush crept onto his cheeks. A shock traveled through every part of his body until resting uncomfortably in the middle of his squeedly spooch. Dib broke apart the kiss to glance up at Zim and smirk.

"Happy Valentine's Day, _Zimmy_."

Snarling, Zim yanked his arm away Dib's grasp. "Don't you **dare** call the mighty Zim that!" he snapped, inspecting his hand for any signs of burns or melting. His hand looked completely normal with no signs of damage whatsoever, but Zim could still feel a tingling feeling from where Dib had kissed him.

Dib chuckled lightly at Zim's reaction. Zim snapped his gaze back at the human while pulling the glove back onto his hand. "What's so funny, meat-sack?"

"You don't seem to understand, spaceboy. I have the right to call you whatever I want. Part of our deal was that you couldn't kill me, nor plan world domination for the entire day, _remember_?" Dib's grin grew wider when Zim's face flushed blue with anger, hatred in his eyes. Shrugging it off, he walked around and sat down next to Zim, placing his backpack against the leg of the desk. Zim scowled and turned the back of his head towards the human. "I hate you," he muttered.

"Then why did you agree to this?"

Zim's eye twitched. _I'm going to kill him._ "Shut your noise tube, vile monkey." Dib smiled contently at Zim's lack of a witty response. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out an object and placed it on Zim's desk. Curious, yet feigning reluctance, Zim turned his head to look at it.

It was some sort of heart-shaped tank, a heart-shaped piece of glass connected to a red, heart-shaped piece of metal through a strip of red metal (Zim guessed it was the same type of material) welded onto it. Zim couldn't see what was inside it since the piece of glass was completely pitch black. Picking it up, Zim observed it, twisting and flipping it around to get better angles, until he noticed a button on the side. Flipping it right-side-up, Zim pressed the button. Instantly, a spark of electricity went through it and hearts started lighting up in the background, while in the foreground five words lit up, alternating between pink, red and white:

"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, ZIM! --DIB."

Zim stared at it, fascinated. Dib smiled. _He likes it._ "It was something I threw together last night after you left. I'm glad you like it." Zim turned his head towards Dib. "Did...did you make this for Zim?" he asked, dumbfounded. Dib smiled sincerely and nodded. Zim turned back to look at his gift then puffed out his cheeks. He hit the button again, turning off the lights, and set it on the table. He reached into his PAK and fished out a small gadget.

He reached out a hand, grabbed Dib's arm and yanked it over to his side of their small table. Before Dib could say anything, Zim pressed the gadget against Dib's thumb, holding it steady. "Don't move," he instructed. Dib narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but complied. After a few seconds, the gadget beeped and Zim let go of Dib's arm. Grabbing another item out of his pack, Zim turned his back towards Dib and started working. Dib tried to peer over Zim's shoulder, but he still couldn't see what the Irken was doing. Sighing, Dib sat back down and waited for Zim to finish. Sure enough, Zim turned around, having finished whatever he was doing. "Here," he muttered and tossed a metal item onto Dib's desk.

At first sight, it looked like nothing more than a pink-purple colored, heart-shaped piece of metal. But Dib noticed that it had the small gadget he had seen only a few moments ago attached to it, figuring it out now as a fingerprint scanner. Dib looked at Zim, as though asking for silent permission. "Well, don't just sit their and gape at me, pig HYU-man!" Zim snapped, reading his look.

Taking that as a "go ahead," Dib pressed his thumb against the scanner. It beeped again and the contraption started opening as soon as he lifted up his finger. The contraption split in half, revealing a small compartment inside. On the left side of the opened cover, a hologram of Dib popped up. The hologram turned towards the human counterpart, smiled and waved at him. On the right side of the opened cover, another hologram popped up, this one being an undisguised Zim. Turning towards the real Dib, the hologram rolled his eyes and crossed his arms him. In the middle, a larger hologram came up. This one was a giant heart with undisguised GIR sitting on top, waving at Dib. Seven large words popped up on the heart:

"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DIB! --THE ALMIGHTY ZIM."

Dib blinked, a small blush appearing on his cheeks. He had never had a Valentine before, thus he had never received a Valentine's Day gift. And the last person he had **ever** expected to give him one (a really _awesome_ one at that) would be his alien archenemy. What the Invader didn't know was that Dib had planned on using his gift to trigger some emotion inside Zim, such as appreciation for the present or guilt for not getting Dib anything. The human hadn't been prepared for Zim to return the favor. Speaking of Zim, the Irken had reached over and closed the gadget, shutting off the holograms, snapping Dib out of his thoughts. He turned to look at Zim. "_No one_ may see that," the Irken hissed, a dark blue blush on his cheeks. Dib blinked again, then smiled at the alien, who was refusing to look at the human. Without warning, he grabbed Zim's arm, pulling the alien against him, and wrapped his arms around the green body tightly.

"Dib-HYU-man!" Zim yelled, his blush only growing darker as his antennas pressed harder against his skull. Dib ignored him and nuzzled his head against Zim's softly. Suddenly feeling very embarrassed, Zim let out a small sound, a cross between whimper and a growl, and grabbed Dib's arms, trying to pull them away from him. "You know, worm- baby, you're ruining my reputation by doing all of this," Zim hissed.

"And I'm perfectly okay with that," Dib whispered back smugly, "since I don't _have_ a reputation for _you_ to ruin."

At that exact moment, the Skool bell finally rang. Only then did Dib break away from Zim. Ms. Bitters slithered out from underneath her desk, still hissing wildly like a snake. She slammed the door shut and locked it. "Children," she growled, sounding even more angry that usual, "I do hope you're all happy. You finally got a normal Valentine's Day so you celebrate by putting up decorations a day early. However, that wasn't enough for you, was it?" Sarcasm dripped from her voice as she continued to glare at everyone. "The student President and all of the teachers just _had_ to go overboard with these horrible decorations. I'll remember to give you all extra homework tomorrow for putting me through all this." Ms. Bitters' gaze rested on Dib and Zim, both who swallowed harshly.

"Dib, you do understand these desk pairs are for Valentines, right?"

"Yes, I do," Dib replied, trying to act confident but actually failing.

"And you do know you're sitting next to Zim, correct?"

"Yes, I know."

Zim turned his head slightly. Every eye in the classroom was on him and Dib, staring intently. Many students gaped while others just stared in shock. Zim noticed that the Rob and Sara couple from yesterday were especially quiet, probably shocked that they were somewhat _right_ about what they said yesterday. Zim shifted uncomfortably in his chair while still under the intense gaze his hands gripping the side of his chair tightly. He never liked it when people stared at him. He was afraid that they would finally snap out of their stubborn faze and realize that Zim wasn't human if they observed too closely. Dib caught the moment out of the side of his eye and carefully placed his hand over the aliens one, squeezing it gently. Zim flinched at the sudden touch and glared at Dib, hissing.

"So, in other words then, the two of you are Valentines."

"That would be correct."

"Why are you doing this?" Zim hissed quietly for only the two of them to hear, pulling his hand out of Dib's. "There's no point in me acting like I hate you now, is there?" Dib responded just as silently.

"I'd prefer it over this weird couple thing you're trying to pull over Zim's eyes! Don't forget, you agreed that **nothing** would come of this!"

"Will you shut up?" Dib snapped, losing his patience. "I'm trying to make it through this day just as much as you! The least you can do is be helpful for once in your life!"

"**Help** you? In case you forgot, Dib-idiot, I despise you more than the Meekrob despise my very own race! I have no need to help you!"

Before Dib could respond to that remark, one of the girls in the back jumped onto her desk, letting out a victory cry. "I KNEW IT! Retch, you SO owe me ten bucks!"

"What?" a boy, probably Retch, turned around to glare at another boy in the class. "Billy, you said there was no way I could lose this bet!"

"Aw, come on, dude! How was I supposed to know the two would hook up before the end of the year?"

The entire class broke into an outrage, some people fuming while others yelled in victory. Money was dropped onto different tables, high-fives as well as punches were exchanged. Zim and Dib looked around, utterly confused and completely oblivious. "STUDENTS!" Ms. Bitters screeched, halting all the ruckus and drawing the student's attention back to her. "In case you're forgetting, I was the one who put the idea in your worthless heads." Half of the class groaned in unison before getting up from their seats and making their way to the front of the class. Disdainfully, they all placed their victory money on Ms. Bitters desk in one large pile before returning to their seats. Ms. Bitters chuckled darkly, picked up her large wad of cash and started counting.

"STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, MONEKYS!" Zim yelled, snapping everyone's attention towards him, including Dib's. "What in the name of Irk is going on here?"

"We all placed bets on when you two would hook up," Zita said, groaning sadly as she watched her teacher count what used to be her money.

"WHAT?" Zim and Dib screeched in unison. Zita waved them away. "Oh, stop yelling. It was too obvious, especially since both of you are obsessed with each other." Before either of them could respond, Ms. Bitters slammed her money onto her desk and stood up. "Enough of all the excitement! Turn to page 4539 in your textbooks!" Instantly, everyone pulled out their textbooks and started reading as though nothing had happened. Zim glared at everyone before turning back towards Dib who, to his surprise, also pulled out his textbook and was intently reading the page,a light blush on his cheeks. "Dib?" Zim whispered, raising an invisible eyebrow. Dib ignored him and continued reading. A small, yet still sharp, pain stabbed at Zim's squeedly spooch, but Zim ignored it, instead growling at and pulling out his own textbook.

* * *

"Dib-thing, you should eat. You are a HYU-man after all," Zim said.

The two were seated in what used to be a lunch room, but was now looking like a romantic restaurant. The weird, reg rug was back on the floor, the ribbons and hearts still everywhere, however this time, all of the ribbons were white while every heart was red. All the grimy old lunch tables were replaced with small tables for two. Lunch trays were replaced with expensive china and on every table was a white tablecloth and a scented candle. Zim sat across his table from Dib, who was looking at everything with disbelief. Zim really didn't blame him.

"It's fine, Zim,," Dib grumbled, continuing to observe the lunch room. All the decorations were making him lose his appetite anyway. _How the hell did they manage to afford all of this...?_ he thought.

Zim glared at his Valentine, not liking being brushed off, especially by Dib. "Does it look like a care what you think?" he snapped, standing up in his chair and dropping his own plate in front of Dib. "You will EAT. I don't want an advantage when I murder you tomorrow for putting me through all of this!" he scowled, sitting back down into his chair, crossing his arms.

Dib whipped around, glaring at the Irken. "In case you forgot, _Zim_, I wasn't the one to agree to this! _You_ were!"

"You forced Zim to accept your offer!"

"How?"

"By forcing Zim into submission, **that's how**!"

Dib was about to respond, but stopped himself halfway through. "Wait, I forced you into submission?" he asked, confused. He searched through his thoughts, trying to remember what had happened late last night. Zim growled, uncrossing his arms to clutch the tablecloth. "Yes, you did! You played a weird mind trick on Zim, making a spark of electricity travel through my superior super-organ while you enjoyed offering me the chance of being your Valentine!" He paused to point his finger accusingly at Dib. "And in return, you would perform your _disgusting_ human ritual with Zim!"

The human blinked at Zim's outburst. _"Mind trick?" "Spark of electricity?" What the hell...?_ Suddenly, the thoughts came flooding back to him, how Zim had fallen over onto his bed when Dib advanced toward him and how he tilted the alien's head up to look at him in a dominate fashion. Dib blushed.

_Oh, yeah._

But he had only been doing that stuff to mess with Zim! He hadn't actually _meant_ it!

"Hey, Dib!"

A voice interrupted Dib's thoughts. Whipping around, Dib caught sight of the largest and most muscular kid in his class, Chunk. He gulped, afraid, and quickly turning back around to face Zim, who was looking at the large kid behind him with a mixed look of curiosity, confusion, and maybe a bit of intimidation? "What do you want?" Dib muttered.

Chunk grabbed and turned Dib's chair around in an instant, forcing him to look at him. Dib cowered In his chair, not even trying to hide the intimidation he felt for the larger boy. "So what?" Chunk raised an eyebrow as he spoke, "At first you're an insane freakshow trying to destroy Zim because he's an 'alien,' and now you're a fag with him?" Dib looked down in both shame and embarrassment, a small amount of anger forming inside him. Chunk snorted. "You may not know this, Zim," he started, looking over at the alien, placing one hand on the table and leaning on it, "but I know what's going on; Dib forced you to be his gay Valentine in order to satisfy his sick and twisted fantasies about you. Isn't that right, faggot?" he smirked as he forcefully grabbed ahold of Dib's shoulder, causing the boy to wince. "He's been obsessed with you ever since you came to this Skool. I'm guessing he threatened you into doing this didn't he, Zim. Probably said he would kill your parents, right? You're one of those sick-minded homos, aren't you?" he chuckled darkly, addressing Dib.

Zim's grip on the tablecloth tightened. He understood what that word Chunk was using; he had found it while searching homosexuality. Zim had never understood how cruel humans could be to each other, but he was getting an up close and personal example. There he was, witnessing Dib hanging his head in shame while Chunk verbally abused him. _Is Chunk one of those HYU-mans who doesn't accept homosexuals, like Dib mentioned?_ It actually didn't matter; seeing the paranormal investigator like this was unsettling to Zim, and he didn't like it.

Fury burning inside him at the larger boy's words, Dib finally glared up at Chunk, clenching his fists. He knocked off the hand on his shoulder and stood up in his chair, coming face-to-face with the boy. "Shut up, you disgusting bastard. That's not true and you know it. So go away and leave me and Zim alone, you idiotic fatass," he hissed through his teeth.

Chunk stared at Dib as though he had just been slapped across the face. However, after a few moments, he snapped out of it and his shocked expression was replaced with a furious one. He grabbed the collar to Dib's shirt, lifting off the seat and leaving him dangling in the air. Zim's grip tightened even more, his claws starting to rip holes in the fabric. Dib swallowed harshly, knowing the price he would pay for speaking out like that.

"Wrong answer, fag," Chunk growled. In one swift motion, his closed fist lifted up and collided forcefully into Dib's cheek. The impact sent Dib through the air, landing harshly and sprawled out on the floor. Groaning, he slowly attempted to pick himself up, but gave up shortly and sunk back into the carpet.

That did it.

With a battle cry, Zim lunged at Chunk, latching onto his neck and knocking him to the ground. The entire lunchroom turned to gape at Zim while he dug his knees into Chunk's ribcage, the room silent except for the gasps of breath the larger boy was making, trying to breath.

"Now listen closely, you worthless piece of Earth filth," Zim snarled, his grip on the humans neck tightening a fraction as Chunk's face started turning red. "**Never**, under **any** circumstances, touch or talk to my Dib-beast _**ever again**_. Understand?" Still gasping like a trapped fish, the larger human nodded his head vigorously. Content with his response, Zim let go of his neck, getting up off Chunk. Once standing, he grabbed the human's collar, pulling him to his feet. Without a single warning, Zim's fist bashed into his nose with a loud _CRACK_. Chunk cried out in pain, clutching at his nose, blood running down his face and hand, looking at Zim with an expression of pure, untainted fear. Zim simply gazed sternly back, pointing his finger towards the door.

"Get the hell out of Zim's face."

Without having to be told twice, Chunk ran running towards the door, opening and running through it without hesitation. The entire room turned to stare at the Irken intently, completely shocked. Zim ignored them grinned evilly. _Another flawless victory for Zim._ He looked down at his glove, noticing a small amount of blood from Chunk's nose. "Ick," Zim stuck out his tongue in disgust. He walked back over to his table, grabbing a napkin off it and wiping his glove off.

"Did you seriously just do that for _me_?"

Zim jumped a little before turning to face Dib, standing in front of him. He was looking at Zim with the most dumbfounded expression he could pull off. Zim noticed the large bruise starting to form on the boy's cheek. Frowning, he reached into his PAK, and pulled out the bruise lotion he had used the day before, squirting a small amount into his hand before returning it to his PAK. "Hold still," he instructed, grabbing Dib's shoulder and pulling him close as he gently rubbed the lotion into the bruise.

Dib did as he was told, a small blush forming on his cheeks. Of course, Dib had known Zim was violent and extremely possesive, but to go that far for someone like Dib was almost absurd. Zim removed his hand from Dib's shoulder as he finished tending to Dib's bruise. He tool a step away from the human, a small blue blush on his own cheeks.

"Don't get used to it," Zim grumbled, practically reading the boy's thoughts. Dib blinked at the Irken, then smiled appreciatively. Taking a step towards Zim, Dib took ahold of the Irken's head with both of his hands. He tilted the green head down and pressed a light kiss against Zim's forehead.

As soon as he broke away, Zim lifted a hand to his forehead and stumbled back against the table, his whole face a dark shade of blue. Dib chuckled at the sight, causing a growl and a glare to come from Zim.

"Shut your noise tube, Dib."

* * *

Zim sat on the steps to Skool outside, holding Dib's gift in his hands tightly, as though he was afraid to drop it. He was watching the student couples as they walked away from the building. Almost all of them were holding hands, but their were a few pairs that had their arms over each other shoulders, pulling each other flesh against flesh. Zim watched them all with fascination, not even noticing the running footsteps coming up behind him or when they abruptly stopped.

"You waited for me?"

Zim jumped, quickly tossing Dib's gift into his PAK before turning to look at the Dib himself. He stood their, an eyebrow raised in amusement. In his hands was the small gift Zim had made him, though he hastily shoved it into his backpack as soon as he caught Zim staring at it. The alien stood up. "There's no real point in Zim just leaving you here while we're under truce, now is there?" Dib shrugged in response. "Yeah, I guess not."

Dib walked down the steps past Zim, somehow missing the glare that was given to him. The Irken ran out in front of him, stopping the human from continuing. He held out his hand, still glaring at the boy. Dib looked at the hand and then at the alien in confusion. "Hold Zim's hand and walk Zim home," he explained. Dib's eyes widened. "Wh-what?" "Well, we're still technically Valentines. Isn't this what Valentines do?" Zim snapped, eyes flicking at his outstretched hand. Dib blinked, before slowly grinning. He reached out his hand and took hold of Zim's wrist, gently letting his fingers run down into Zim's hand before forcing their fingers to intertwine with one another. "Yeah, that's precisely what they do," he answered smugly, tugging Zim along as he continued walking.

The two continued to walk down the road, hand-in-hand. Zim glanced off to the right, then to the left. There was nobody in sight. Sighing with relief, Zim used his free hand to hit a button on his PAK. Instantly, two robot hands came out. The first took off Zim's wig and pulled t back into the PAK, while he second held Zim's contact case. Carefully, the Irken removed his contacts and placed them in the case.

Dib watched him, perplexed. "You're taking off your disguise _here_?"

"Of course I am. My antennas don't like to be under that stupid hair piece."

"But aren't you afraid of people seeing you?"

"Foolish HYU-man! You seem to forget that your species is practically blind to the obvious and lacks crucial common sense skills." Dib shrugged. He couldn't deny that logic.

Soon after, Dib and Zim arrived at Zim's home base. The two stood at the end of the pathway. Zim removed his hand from Dib's and turned to face him, scratching his head awkwardly. "Well, what do I say here...?" he mumbled. "I guess... your company was very much appreciated toda-"

Zim was unable to finish. Dib had grabbed the Irkens arm again and pulled him into another hug, trapping the Invader arms between them. Zim froze, his face completely flushed. Finally, a low growl emitted from his throat. "What are you doing, Dib-filth?" Dib ignored him and nuzzled his face into his neck, placing a soft kiss on his throat. An involuntary tremble traveled through Zim's frame as his blush grew bluer. He growled again and tried to push the human off him, ultimately failing.

After a few moments, Dib pulled back enough to look into Zim's narrowed, red eyes. "Thank you."

The alien's widened, caught off guard. "What for?"

"So many things. I've never had a Valentine before, male or female, I've never been given a gift before, I've never been able to kiss or hug someone before, and I've definitely never had a person beat the crap out of someone for me," Dib answered softly, pressing his forehead against Zim's. "Yeah, we haven't necessarily acted like the perfect Valentine's Day couple, but overall, this has been an unforgettable day for me. So thank you."

"...You're welcome," Zim finally answered sincerely after a moment. He looked away from Dib's gaze and down at the ground. "And, uh...the same to you, Dib. Zim probably won't forget today either," he added, embarrassed. Dib laughed, causing Zim to puff out his cheeks in fake annoyance, before hugging Zim again. The alien returned the favor, sliding his hands from their trapped position up and around Dib's neck, hugging him back.

"Zim?"

"Yes, Dib-thing?"

"I hope you don't mind, but this is usually the part where we kiss."

Zim pulled back instantly and gaped at Dib, his blush a deep navy blue. Before he could say anything, Dib lifted his hand to Zim's chin, tilting it towards him, causing Zim to lose his words. The human looked at him seriously, but with a slightly questioning look in his eyes. Zim saw it and understood it immediately. _He wants to kiss me._ Zim stared back into Dib's golden eyes, the wheels in his brain turning. When Dib had kissed Zim on the hand, he had felt sparks from his lips when the connected to his skin. The same feeling happened when Dib had kissed his forehead, only it was stronger. What was weird, however, was that Zim's body acted as though it _liked_ the feeling of Dib's lips on his skin. _To hell with acting, Zim _knows_ he liked the feeling!_ Coming to a decision, Zim tightened his arms around Dib's neck, bringing their faces closer together. Zim let a small smile fall onto his face and nodded at Dib. The human beamed, moving the hand from his chin up to Zim's cheek, causing a small tremor to travel through Zim. At this point, he and Zim's faces were close enough that if Zim had a nose, his and Dib's would be brushing. Heart pounding against his chest, Dib closed his eyes, Zim quickly following, and tilted Zim's head up. With one movement, Dib leaned over and captured Zim's lips with his own.

Sparks flew.

All thoughts of hate and doubt exploded into smithereens. Zim's squeedly spooch lit on fire while Dib's stomach did multiple flips. Gently, Dib pressed harder against Zim's lips, poking at the alien's mouth with his tongue. Hissing pleasurably at the slight sting of the saliva, Zim complied, opening his mouth and letting Dib's tongue explore. His flat, human tongue wasted no time in ravaging his mouth, prodding Zim's thin, ridged one to life. Zim hand made it's way into Dib's hair, grabbing it gently, while his other hand clutched at Dib's trench coat. The hand on Zim's cheek made it's way over to the back of Zim's head while Dib's other hand hooked around the small of Zim's back, pulling him closer. Dib's hand slid over the back of the alien's head until it accidentally came into contact with Zim's antenna. "Mmm!" Zim groaned into Dib's mouth, momentarily surprising him. Gingerly, his fingers glided across Zim's antenna, extracting more moans out of Zim's throat. The Irken's hand gripped Dib's hair tighter while his tongue wrapped around the humans. Moaning himself, the human did the best he could to pull Zim closer against his body.

Eventually, the lack of oxygen was too much of a problem to avoid, and the two broke apart, both panting heavily. Dib let his head rest on Zim's shoulder, his heart thundering hard in his ribcage. "I...I thought you said...you had never experienced that ritual before..." Zim said between his deep breathes. Dib turned his head to look up at Zim. "I hadn't," he replied, slightly confused. Zim growled and pulled up Dib's head to face him, his hand still clasped tightly in his black hair. "You lie. There is no possible way you're telling the truth."

"Why, am I **that** good?" Dib smirked. Zim's antennas pressed against his skull as he playfully pushed Dib. The human laughed, letting his arms fall off Zim and down to his sides. Zim did the same and the two were left standing there, facing each other, awkwardness falling on them. "So..." Dib started, averting his eyes down to the ground, "I guess I'll go home now..." He turned and was about to start walking away when a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist. Perplexed, Dib turned around.

Zim stood there, glaring down at his feet, face blue and his free hand clenched into a fist. He refused to look up at Dib, even when the human sighed in slight annoyance. "Dib-HYU-man," he muttered, practically burning holes into his feet. "Zim...Zim doesn't think he wants to try and destroy you tomorrow." He glanced up at Dib. "In fact..." he paused to grit his teeth, not understanding why saying simple words suddenly became _so damn hard._ "In fact, I would like to repeat this!" he finally blurted out.

Dib blinked. _Did Zim just say...he wants this to happen again?_ he thought. Smiling, he reached over his free hand and lightly patted Zim's head. "You know, Zim. You're kinda cute when you act like this." Zim snarled, slapping Dib's hand away while releasing his other arm. "The mighty Zim is not KYOOT, stupid worm-baby!" he growled. Dib just laughed and took Zim's hand. Carefully, he removed the glove and kissed the back of his hand as he did that morning. Zim stopped snarling and watched him, a warm feeling filling his squeedily spooch. Dib removed his lips and placed the glove in the Invader's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he said, smiling. Zim found himself smiling back a little and nodded. Dib beamed. "Alright, see you later..._Zimmy_." And with that, he turned and started walking away.

"Yes, you shall..._**Dibby**_."

The paranormal investigator's entire face flushed dark red as he whipped his head around to face the alien. "_Don't call me that!_" he yelled, childishly, before turning back around and running away. Zim smirked, turning himself around to face his house. "Even when extremely confused by his own emotions, Zim still wins," he said to himself smugly, snapping his glove back onto his hand before striding up his walkway to his house. His head held high, Zim opened the door, walked in, and closed it, only to immediately trip over the two holes in the floor made by GIR that morning. Growling, Zim pushed his head off the ground and looked up to see the little robot grinning wildly at him. Zim quirked a non-existant eyebrow. "What is it, GIR?"

The robot giggled. "You 'n' Big Head LUUUUUUUUUVE eachoder!"

Zim flushed blue, standing up immediately, glaring furiously at the still grinning robot. "We do _NOT_!"

"Yes, you doo~."

"No, we DON'T!"

"Then why were ya two makin' out in fron' of 'da base?" GIR asked, pointing his robot hand out the window, signaling where he and Dib stood a few minutes ago. Zim flushed bluer, for the first time lost for words. "You guyses luve eachoder! Admit it! Oooh, 'dis is so KEWL! Just wait till we tell 'da Tallest! They'd be sooo exci-"

"NO, GIR! We will **NOT** tell the Tallest about this!" Zim screamed hastily. He picked up the robot in his hands and walked over to the couch, dropping GIR onto it. "The Tallests must **never** know about this! Understand?"

"Aww, but why not?" GIR cried, disappointment evident in his voice. Before he could continue, Zim quickly ran over to the television set, hitting the power button while internally begging his plan to work. Sure enough, almost instantly, Zim was face-to-face with the Scary Monkey he despised. Grumbling about it, Zim turned to look at GIR. The robot was absorbed into the TV show already, completely oblivious to the alien in the room. Mentally patting himself on the back, Zim strode out of the room and into the kitchen elevator, humming contently to himself while pressing the button to his floor.

The elevator binged and the door opened, revealing a purple hallway. Zim was on the unused middle floor, where he couldn't contact the computer by voice command. GIR almost never came up here either. Looking around to make sure there wasn't anyone there, the Irken rushed into one of the rooms, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He looked around and saw that he was in a dark, empty closet with no windows. Relaxing his shoulders, Zim reached into his PAK and pulled out Dib's gift. Sitting on the floor, he pressed the button on the side, grinning happily to himself.

* * *

Dib slammed the door to his room, locking it. Gaz was passed out on the couch downstairs and his father wasn't home as usual. Running over to his bed, he shut the (now repaired) window and draped a blanket over it. Shutting off all his computer monitors, Dib was bathed in darkness. Sitting on his bed, Dib dropped his back pack on the floor and pulled out Zim's gift. Placing it gently on the covers, he pressed his thumb against the scanner, waiting for it to beep. As soon as it opened and the holograms popped out, Dib smiled at Zim's hologram, unconsciously poking it with his finger.

"All because of you and your stupid curiosity, Zim," he whispered, laughing to himself.

* * *

_**The End**___

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please rate and review! ^.^


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